I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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