What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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