The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
