i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
