Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
