Me. At least after what I've been through.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
