The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
4 words: hood of his car
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
