i would punch a child for taco bell
We got so high we made milksteak
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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