I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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