i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
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