I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
