I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
