McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Floor bacon is actually really good
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
