He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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