I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
