Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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