I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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