you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
