I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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