member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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