Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
