I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
