I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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