just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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