dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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