Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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