the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
