I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
