i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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