You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
