Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
