i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You ate ashes out of my bong
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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