somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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