i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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