just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I FOUND THE LEGS
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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