is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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