what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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