We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize