We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
