i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
