I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
