Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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