Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize