I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
