he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
