3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize