He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
