Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
