you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize