Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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