I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
