I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
