We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
