Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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