I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you traded sex for a burrito?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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