You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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