he wants to bone in the snuggie
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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