kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
