it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
