3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
