But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Send help, water and tortillas.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
