What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
